Wait. Listen. Trust.

So, I know this may seem a little weird considering my last blog was titled "Move." But I also said that God had been talking to me a lot lately. 

Like to wait.

To listen more.

And to trust Him fully.

I won't go into detail about what God's telling me to wait on or for...but I knew, even from the beginning, that I was going to have to wait. 


Sometimes all I need to hear is "shut up and listen"... Honestly, I don't think  my problem is that I don't listen...it's that I don't act on what I'm hearing. I ignore it. I run from it.  Why you might ask? The simple, or not so simple answer is that I simply do not know why I run from it. Even when I admit things about my call, I don't want to own them.  I'm scared. Of everything. Of the uncertainty, of putting my trust in God. Of taking that leap. I'm scared of completely messing everything up. Relationships. I try to rationalize everything and I often over think things. I try to understand it by pulling in all the evidence I can. I guess when I have to rely on faith only I have a harder time understanding it, because I don't trust fully in the One who created me. Selfish, huh?  God doesn't say we're going to understand everything we do. That's where faith comes in.

["Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5]

God isn't asking me to do anything I can't do. And I know I will never receive more than I can handle. I stress out over things way too much. I carry around a lot of baggage that I don't want..I'm just not sure how to get rid of it. Don't get me wrong, I've learned from my past, grown from it and am a new person (in Christ) because of it. I don't let it control me (for the most part)..but I still carry it around with me. I'm ready to get rid of it. To leave it where it belongs and to NEVER look back at it. 

God is God. He always has been and always will be. He hasn't changed, only our perceptions and interpretations of Him have.

I'm tired of being scared. Of not doing what I feel God is calling me to do because of my own fears. 

[Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy-Francis Chan, Crazy Love]

Discernment. Courage. Love. Strength. Guidance. Peace. Faith. Hope. Joy. Trust. Patience. Freedom.