"too much me and not enough God"

So recently some really good things have been happening in my life...and then I hit a bump. Sound familiar? It's so easy to get caught up in..well, life. to rush into things too fast. and, unfortunately it's very easy to forget to put God first in our lives. Even though I try to center every relationship I have around God, I often get caught up into what I want instead of following what God wants. I listen to my wants, my desires, my insecurities, my needs. There's too much me and not enough God!! 

I cannot say that God doesn't love me--He has shown me how much he loves me through the people in my life and in other ways. Sometimes it's a song coming on the radio that I needed to hear--yes I DO believe that God works in those types of ways. To limit what He can do would be a) selfish and b) a bit ignorant. Anyways, I am amazed every day at how much God loves me. 

I find myself getting frustrated a lot, both with myself and with God. But mostly with myself. I've never been one to have my future planned out but I find myself now wanting to know where I'll be in a year and a half, three years, five, ten years from now. And unfortunately, I'm no psychic (I know, this may come as a surprise to many of you, sorry to disappoint)--I can't predict my future...My call has given me a direction to go in my life. But as I begin to explore my options with grad schools/seminaries, internships, etc I realize that there are SO many opportunities for ministry to happen and  for me to be in ministry. God's shown me just enough so that I can take the next step in my life. But He has also opened up His arms to me this past week. Constantly finding ways to show and tell me He loves me. And continuing to ask me to trust Him. Sometimes it's hard and scary, but it's also a VERY beautiful thing.

"...And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God." 1 Philippians 1:9-11