heavy heart.

tonight, my heart is heavy.

Lord, may you direct my heart and lead me in the direction of Your will. Search deep inside me, change me. Use me. Inspire me. So that I may change others and show them the love that you have so freely given them.

On the heart #1.

Young Women. Youth, young adults. Young ladies between the ages of about 14 and 20something. Girls who are being thrown into a world full of sex, drugs, alcohol. Girls who are being told that they are beautiful enough by standards set by a sinful society. Girls who are seeing relationships fail and have no hope for true love so they settle for someone who isn't even half of what they deserve. Girls who are engaging in sex before they even know the consequences of their actions. Girls who are constantly being told they're not skinny enough. not pretty enough. no tall enough. not good enough. 

Girls who are loved unconditionally by a God who created them so uniquely and beautifully. Girls who are precious in the eyes of their creator. Girls who are worthy of love from a guy who respects them and cares for them; for someone who has a heart for God as much as they do. Girls who deserve to beat the statistics of society. Girls who are perfect just the way they are. Girls who are good enough and don't need to change anything about themselves to make someone else happy.

On the heart #2

Jacksonville community--Young adults in church. Maybe this is just my experience but the church is failing our generation. I am an active member and church goer at the church I am a member of. But I also have a call which keeps me involved at a level most young adults wouldn't dream of being involved in. But take that aside, forget that for a second. I am alone in a church full of young married couples and teenagers. But mostly our congregation is filled of people in their late 40's on up. There's nothing wrong with this. The problem however, is that we are losing members, and losing the interest of college students and those of and in that age group. I hear constant talk in my church about needing to get more young adults involved yet that's all that happens--TALK TALK TALK. Nothing is actually being done. And to be honest, I may have leadership roles in my church, but I'm not getting the spiritual discipline and education I need in order to "make disciples". (don't get me wrong, i learn A LOT just by leading..but it's different). I am Blessed to have built some wonderful relationships with people at my church, this including younger couples (but they're still in their 30's, out of college and have a baby now....it's way different). I am able to talk through things, be challenged, etc with these friends of mine. 

this brings me to

On the heart #3

ualr community--Maybe there are programs on campus but I don't know about any of them. Well, that's a lie. I know we have a Wesley foundation and I believe a BCM? But I have NO idea what it takes or how to get involved. Maybe this shows a lack of motivation on my part...I'm really passionate about this...but at the same time I believe the church has once again failed us. Where are these organizations at around campus telling students about themselves? Inviting students to get involved? I know I'm not the MOST active student but I can also say that I am a LOT more active than other students on campus. And I don't see it. If the only groups that are forming are those among friends (which is fine, don't get me wrong) but if they are being kept to themselves with no means of outreaching to other students, possibly some students who don't know Christ or have a relationships with him. Possibly students that need Him the most--then why are these organizations, official or unofficial, even in existence at all? If we aren't making disciples of Christ (Matthew 28:19) then why bother at all? (please don't take this as me saying that we don't need our support groups, because WE DO...but if all we are doing is supporting each other and keeping God's love to ourselves..we aren't doing what we've been asked to do.)

I can't be the ONLY student on the UALR campus to feel this way. And maybe it's going to take some of us stepping up and calling organizations out. Or maybe it's us starting our own student led campus ministry organization. I'm not sue what the answer is yet, but I do know that I am tired of complaining about it. Tired of talking about it. And tired of yearning for something and doing absolutely nothing about it.

It's time to be the change and stop expecting others to be the change for us. If not now for us..then for future generations who are like us yearning for what we are currently yearning for.

GPL,

Corey