I remember being a teenager (which was SOOOO long ago, or so it seems) and asking a lot of questions about everything, especially about Christian theology and other world religions. Yep, I was that kid. I was also the kid who went on to further study it in college and am currently in the middle (actually just over the tip of the mountain) of working toward my Master of Divinity degree. Woot. Anyway, I was always someone who was asking more and more questions and never seemed to be satisfied with the "simple" answers I was given. I always wanted to dig deeper and wanted to know as much as possible as I can.
I am now 24 years old and studying at Duke Divinity School. At some point in the last year and a half, I stopped asking questions and began seeking answers. Influenced by the academic environment that surrounded me, the nerdy theology talk that happens, and my own personal desire to be as informed as I possible could, I sought out answers. And I didn't just want answers, I wanted the right answers; or at least I wanted the answers that I thought were right.
Now, I've always considered myself to be a pretty open-minded person (whatever that means). I try to see as many viewpoints as I can and consider myself to be open to other people's viewpoints. However, at some point I stopped doing that. I got caught up in the "I'm right, you're wrong" or more commonly known as the "I have better theology than you do because I go to Duke and you don't." I HATE admitting this. I hate admitting that I became, for a short time, the stereotypical Dukie. I have recently realized how lost I had become in all of the unsatisfying answers.
I like asking questions. I believe that the process that follows the moment we ask the first questions is where it's at. I believe the best questions only lead to more questions. Here's why. In my experience the journey toward "answers" (or more questions) is where the fruit is ripened; it is the path we take while searching that leads us in our most precious growth. Sometimes the journey is painful, I do not doubt that at all, in fact I know just how painful it can be for some. Sometimes the journey is joyful. However the experience of the journey, I have found that those have been the best times of my life. While I recognize the frustrating nature of these times of "struggle," I also recognize that it is okay to struggle and it is okay to be uncertain. The times of uncertainty and the times of searching have been the most formational. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely things that we can know and can be certain about, however...we cannot and simply will not ever know it all. And truthfully, I am okay not having answers. I'm okay not knowing everything. For me, it is just a constant reminder that I am not God. It reminds me that God is so much bigger than any simple black and white answer.
I hope that I am the kind of pastor that says things that offers both answers and questions; answers that lead to more questions, more exploration, and more ownership of one's own faith. When people have answers, they stop searching. But those who have questions are forever searching, finding that more questions will arise and that some answers will simply leave us unfulfilled. For the questions in which they will find answers for, the journey that took place between the initial asking of the question and the discovery of the answer is often the part of the process found to be most formative.
Here's to asking questions, and especially the journey that takes place the moment we ask them.
Blessings & Christ's Peace,
Corey
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