following.

stress. stress. stress.

               this has definitely been a stressful end to a semester. probably my most stressful yet. and honestly, i'm not sure it's the course work that was the stressful part. i think it has been more of the "holy crap, i'm about to be a senior in college what happens next" kind of stress. i've been so worried about certain relationships in my life, what choice i should make about summer plans (i had a phone interview with the General Board of Global Ministries last week that I think went REALLY well-i should know something within the next two weeks.), what grad schools I needed to be looking in to, what to do in certain situations...i was so worried about the tomorrows of life that i had forgotten i still needed to live in today.

the first thing i was reminded of through this is that;

• God laughs at our plans. When I started trying to take control of things and make my own plans--that's when things really began to get difficult. (and i was only making it difficult on myself)

i had forgotten about God's plan for my life and tried to make my own. i had forgotten that God already has plans for me. do i still have a choice?--absolutely!! i have two choices. i can:

• Take things into my own hands, make my own plans and live my own life without caring about what God has planned for me.  (okay, so that sounds kinda harsh, but you get what i'm saying)

OR

• Listen to God's voice. Follow in His footsteps, in the path that He has laid out for me. This process too still involves making choices but it's more of a discerning process than a "i'll do what i want" process. 

And if there's one thing I know about either one of these choices it's that God will use me wherever I go.

i'm such a silly person to have thought that my plans were ever better than God's plans. and i'm not sure i necessarily thought that..but i definitely forgot who was truly in control of my life (or at least who needed to be). someone who truly knows and has my deepest desires and my needs at the center of His heart. 

i'm also silly to think that i could really plan what my life will be like a year from now. this time last year, i would have never thought i'd be where i am now. NEVER in a million years would i have imagined life could be this good. i truly serve an amazing God who never ceases surprise me, who continually amazes me and who finds new ways to reveal Himself to me.  

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,

    And He delights in his way.

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;

     For the LORD upholds him with His hand."

[Psalm 37: 23-24]