new year. new beginnings? ehh

Alright, so I couldn't resist a "New Year's" posting..I tried, but I just couldn't.
First, let me rant... I really don't like people saying things like "its a new year, this means i can change everything and start new." Well, I guess you can...but why does it take the calendar year changing for you to decide to make those changes? Why put of making those changes any longer--quit making excuses or buying in to the whole "it's a new year, it's the perfect time for change thing"..really? because i thought the perfect time for change was when you were ready..didn't realize it took january 1st coming for everyone to all of a sudden be ready to make those changes. Don't get me wrong, if this is what truly motivates you then fine..but when it's July and I'm ready to make some changes in my life..I'm not going to wait til January 1st to make those changes. Also...I didn't realized we lived our lives year-by-year: "2011 was okay, here's to 2012 being better". Yes I understand it's easy to sort of categorize our lives by year...but I choose to live my life day by day and those days come together to make my life--one year doesn't make my life...they all, together have molded me (and continue to do so) into the person I am/am becoming. Alright, I'm done. I think.

I guess it can be easy to categorize certain life events into the years in which they happen. Here are some things that occurred within the 365 days of 2011:

• My toughest semester of college yet: Spring 2011
• I completed my first year of healthier living and was more active than I've ever been in my life!!
• I coordinated and led an all girls retreat for youth at my church and another local church
• I FINALLY became an OFFICIAL candidate for ordained ministry in the UMC
• I fell even in more love with my Savior and learn every day of the ways he loves me
• I ran the Race for the Cure for the first time
• I attended Exploration in St. Louis where my call was confirmed in so many ways
• I turned 22 and had the best DL picture taken of me, EVER
• I quit my job
• I sewed my first piece of clothing
• I smiled, I laughed, I cried, I loved. I lived.

Okay, so 2011 wasn't too exciting in big events--but it has been one of the better consecutive 365 days I've had in my lifetime.

Here are some things I'm looking forward to in 2012:

• Becoming a certified candidate
• Applying to SEMINARY and for scholarships!
• Finding a new job (hopefully soon!)
• The 2 year anniversary of my surgery/journey to healthier living
• Finishing my last semester of college and GRADUATING!!!!
• Beginning SEMINARY
• Practicing my 19th Amendment Right to vote
• Continuing an active lifestyle and becoming more active
• The opportunities to be loved, to love, and to show love

I am really excited about the next 366 days (LEAP YEAR!). I am excited to continue on this journey and see where God leads me. I read this quote on a friend's Facebook status and I will leave you with it:

Christian Maturity is the willingness to sometimes go where you would rather not be led! Just as Christ was led to the cross, so must we be willing to follow Him to into places that may be dark, scary, painful and challenging to our security. This is where we will find those who need His love and the hope of salvation the most.

P.S. Be careful and more importantly be RESPONSIBLE tonight

GP&L
Corey

unfinished. untitled

so, i just started writing this. i began singing it one my way home. the words just kinda came to me..been a long time since that's happened. anyways. its not finished. but here's the beginning/first draft

Surrounded by darkness

Still I see the light you’ve given

In a world which has forgotten

What it means to live by grace

Your Spirit, I can feel it

Though sometimes it’s hard to hear you

In a world full of distractions

Which take me from your direction

Lord, I’m reaching out to you

Please touch this willing heart

Guide me each and every day

Help me do your will

Lord, I’m reaching out to you

Can you fill me with your love?

Provide for me, protect me

With love

I fight for You, I search for You

The world does not accept me

The world in which

Your word gets overlooked

The world in which

Is lost and turns away from You.

coreyallison2011

Update since Exploration

I just wanted to take a moment and write a quick update reflecting on life since Exploration.

Exploration is definitely a "landmark" in my life. An event that helped reconfirm a call that was, at the time, already 8 1/2 years in development. An event where I realized I'm not alone in my doubts and fears. An event I came face to face with some of those fears and several failures. An event where I was reminded about God's amazing grace and almighty power.

Since Exploration, I have noticed a difference in my spirit--in nothing but a positive way: I see life a little differently now. I don't think it was really Exploration itself that did it as much as it was the fellowship and community it provided and allowed.

One of my favorite differences: I am more open and more aware to when the Spirit moves in me. I feel like I have relied more on God moving in my life than I previously did. And I am continually awed at the amazing ways God moves in my life and in the lives of others. I was before--but I have payed more attention to it than I used to.

I have since found myself feeling more encouraged each day. In my call, my walk with Christ, and life in general. But I also find myself, on occasion, feeling more discouraged. Not in my own personal life, but in the world around me. At the same time I feel encouraged in knowing that my generation has a heart for God and a heart for His people. This was made evident to me at Exploration--and we are only a small, small fraction of the young adult population.

I still have moments when I doubt everything, but I think that's normal.  They don't consume me, instead they just provide opportunities for God to move and to speak to me.

That's about all I really have to say. I'm excited about finishing up my last semester of undergrad. And both excited and nervous about beginning seminary--wherever that may be. I do ask for prayers, as I try and get through the candidacy process quickly (so that I qualify for scholarships), that I stay encouraged and confident, and that the application process goes smoothly to seminaries. I'm a firm believer that prayer is one of the best things we can offer someone, so I take your prayers seriously and they mean more than words could express to me.
Have a Blessed week.

Grace, Peace, & Love
Corey