The past month has been rough, not gonna lie!.. I've been looking for a job, trying to get seminary essays done, get stuff done for candidacy, begin my last semester, etc on top of other responsibilities i have in church, with my family and friends, and..just life in general.
In all of this, and even as I reflect over the past two years of my life I realize how much i've changed--for the better. Maybe "changed" isn't the right word...perhaps grown is a better word. I have never been so joyful or positive in my entire life.
You know, when I was a teenager I would have considered myself a Jesus-lover. I probably would have said that God was first in my life. But I realize now that that wasn't true. Sure, I put God first some of the time, especially when it was convenient for me to do so.But I didn't TRULY put God FIRST as I feel I do now. Do I mess up? Oh boy, yes. Constantly. But that's not the point of this post.Romans 8:28 tells us "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Now, God doesn't say life's going to be easy; or everything's going to work in your favor; or God gives you everything you want when you want it exactly how you want it. NO!! It doesn't say any of that. In fact, the Bible tells us of trials and hardships that we will endure. But I truly believe that when God is put first in a person's life that their perspective changes. Walking daily with Christ changes lives. I am an example of that change!! It's one thing to stand up in front of people declaring your love for Christ, or to go to church every Sunday; it's a totally different thing to actually LIVE A HOLY LIFE. I'm not perfect, and am not claiming to be even close. In John 8:12 Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life" (NIV). I think that's a perfect way to describe the difference in my life--I went from living a life in darkness to living a life in light. Seriously--that's what it feels like. It doesn't mean that every day of my life is easy, or perfect, or even goes the way I want it to. In fact, sometimes it's the opposite. But I have found SO MUCH JOY in knowing first of all that I am loved so crazily by an amazing and all-powerful God and that secondly that I am FORGIVEN. But also having the opportunity every day to wake up and invite Christ to walk with me. It's a choice that has to be made daily. In Luke 9:23 we read the words of Jesus when he said "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." That's just it. I can't love God first and others second if I am so consumed in myself! Jesus then goes on to say in verse 24 that "Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it."Jesus gave us two commandments to live by: To"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your strength and with all your soul and with all your mind and to love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22: 37-39, Mark 12:30-31, Luke 10:27, John 13:34)
I truly believe that God blesses those who are faithful to Him. That God reveals enough light and sometimes more to guide you with. That God is so crazy in love with us that he finds ways to show that love to us, even when we don't deserve it. I believe that putting God first in your life and desiring to be in His will changes you. That God is so incredibly GOOD to us--even when we don't see it that way.
I've been trying to figure out how to describe the way I feel on a daily basis...and I can't seem to find words for it. It's literally indescribable. Joyful. Positive. Happy. Excited. Energetic. Willing. Nervous. Curious. Amazed. How do I describe it for someone who hasn't experienced it? I don't know!!! I wish I could because it is the most amazing feeling--state of mind--place to be--etc EVER. I've found that I have so much more love for others. (I've also come to love myself, which I actually had to accomplish first). I've allowed others to love me--something I didn't take advantage of when i was a teenager.
Anyways, I'm always willing and available to talk about things. I could talk about God ALL DAY LONG! I do hope and pray that you are finding ways to follow God daily; to experience Him in Scripture and in your life. If there's ever anything i can do for you or anything I can pray for you for--PLEASEEEE, don't hesitate to shoot me an email, text message, FB message, whatever! I believe prayer is POWERFUL. And also one of the best things you can do for someone.
Grace & Peace,
Corey